Did Someone Say

PRINCESS?

Because that reminds me: I just found Princess Gwenevere and the Jewel Riders on youtube.

What’s that, you say? You did not spend the fourth year of your life watching Gwen, Tamara and Fallon soar on their flying unicorns through a pastel Lisa Frank wonderland, defeating evil with the power of friendship?

Which would you rather watch, My Little Pony or My Crime-Fighting Unicorn?

You did not spend recess bickering over which jewel rider each girl got to play, not minding that you always ended up with Fallon, because she was clearly the underrated best?

You did not careen around, thrusting forward your tiny fist in a gesture strangely reminiscent of the red salute and yelling “by the POWAH of the MOOOONSTONE” at anyone who attempted to thwart you?

Ah, my friend, coy Fortuna cannot be kind to all of us.

However, she smiles on you now.

Interlude: Babes in Real Life

Clare:i’m too scared

i don’t want to die
i know i will die

Christine: uh, why?
Clare: [deep-fried burger joint] sounds too good
  it would kill me
Christine: a little death
  OKAY I’M DONE
 Clare: NO DON’T STOP
Christine: CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP
  ALL CAPS
  CAPS LOCK
Clare: why aren’t you ever in new york
Christine: SLANT RHYME
Clare: HOOKED ON CAPS LOCK
  FEMININE RHYME
  not really though
Christine: PATRIARCHAL PENTAMETER
Clare: WHAT IS THAT A THING HOW DO I KILL IT
Christine: Shakespeare in the park
Clare: poisoning shakespeare in the park
Christine: with a Shakespeare hologram like Tupac at Coachella
  kill the hologram
  make a science fiction movie about it?
  one that passes the Bechdel test
Clare: an all female cast
  IN SPACE
Christine: “SALLY RIDES AGAIN”
  too soon.
 Clare: ……….
  is it though??
***
Pop culture, rhyme schemes, and off-color jokes…  All in one charmingly beribboned package.
We could be less weird, but would it be as fun?