You Can Lead a Horticulture,

but you can’t make her think.

It’s Dorothy Parker’s birthday! 

A friend likes to tell me that if I stick around long enough, I show great promise of becoming every bit as bitter an old broad. I’m sure you do too.

So have a martini, on us, and a poem, on Dorothy.

In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!

–D. Parker

NB this is also the motto of my love life. Explains a bit, no?