What’s New IRL

Frank Sinatra: What’s new?

How is the world treating you?


Woman: Oh wow, hi, it’s good to see you, how did you know I work here?


Frank Sinatra: You haven’t changed a bit

Lovely as ever


I must admit


Woman: Well thanks, that’s–


Frank Sinatra:  What’s new


how did that romance come through


Woman: Pardon me?


Frank Sinatra: We haven’t met since then


Woman: Yeah, I moved three states away


Frank Sinatra:


*voice drops to a funereal groan*


Gee but it’s nice


to see you




*gazes at her  with mournful eye as she becomes visibly more uncomfortable; finally breaks the silence*


What’s new?


Probably I’m boring you


Woman: No no, of course not, it’s just that I should probably go see if that table wants–


Frank Sinatra: But seeing you is grand


And you were sweet


to offer me


your hand


Woman. I…didn’t.


Frank Sinatra: I understand


Woman: Do you though?


Because you’re still holding it.


Frank Sinatra:  Adieuuuuuuuu.


Pardon my asking what’s new.


Woman: So when you said adieu, that meant you weren’t going, good, great, glad we’re on the same page.


Frank Sinatra: Of course you couldn’t know

I haven’t changed


Woman: I can tell


Frank Sinatra: I still love you so.


Woman: ….


Wait so you just decided to pop by my job in the middle of the lunch rush to

Frank Sinatra: Gee but it’s nice to see you again.


*Woman slowly works her hand free; Sinatra leans against wall looking debonair and martyred*




Woman: Ok, ok, what’s new, sure, we can chat about that. For starters–




but seeing you is  so grand


Woman: So you’ve said


Frank Sinatra: And you were


Woman: No.


Frank Sinatra: sweet


Woman: No.


Frank Sinatra: to offer me


Woman: No.


Frank Sinatra: Your hand.


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