What’s New IRL

Frank Sinatra: What’s new?

How is the world treating you?

 

Woman: Oh wow, hi, it’s good to see you, how did you know I work here?

 

Frank Sinatra: You haven’t changed a bit

Lovely as ever

 

I must admit

 

Woman: Well thanks, that’s–

 

Frank Sinatra:  What’s new

 

how did that romance come through

 

Woman: Pardon me?

 

Frank Sinatra: We haven’t met since then

 

Woman: Yeah, I moved three states away

 

Frank Sinatra:

 

*voice drops to a funereal groan*

 

Gee but it’s nice

 

to see you

 

again.

 

*gazes at her  with mournful eye as she becomes visibly more uncomfortable; finally breaks the silence*

 

What’s new?

 

Probably I’m boring you

 

Woman: No no, of course not, it’s just that I should probably go see if that table wants–

 

Frank Sinatra: But seeing you is grand

 

And you were sweet

 

to offer me

 

your hand

 

Woman. I…didn’t.

 

Frank Sinatra: I understand

 

Woman: Do you though?

 

Because you’re still holding it.

 

Frank Sinatra:  Adieuuuuuuuu.

 

Pardon my asking what’s new.

 

Woman: So when you said adieu, that meant you weren’t going, good, great, glad we’re on the same page.

 

Frank Sinatra: Of course you couldn’t know

I haven’t changed

 

Woman: I can tell

 

Frank Sinatra: I still love you so.

 

Woman: ….

 

Wait so you just decided to pop by my job in the middle of the lunch rush to

Frank Sinatra: Gee but it’s nice to see you again.

 

*Woman slowly works her hand free; Sinatra leans against wall looking debonair and martyred*

 

Frank Sinatra:  WHAT’S NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW

 

Woman: Ok, ok, what’s new, sure, we can chat about that. For starters–

 

Frank Sinatra: PROBABLY I’M BORING YOU

 

but seeing you is  so grand

 

Woman: So you’ve said

 

Frank Sinatra: And you were

 

Woman: No.

 

Frank Sinatra: sweet

 

Woman: No.

 

Frank Sinatra: to offer me

 

Woman: No.

 

Frank Sinatra: Your hand.

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