Cycle of Dependency

Baby, stop that crying.

Hush, baby.

Yes baby, I know you are hungry.

I know you want me to pick you up and suckle you at my breast till you fall into secure and peaceful slumber, but consider, baby

what would I be teaching you did I give in to this growing entitlement

(the doctor says you’ve grown an inch, who’s a healthy little pterodactyl, you are, oh yes you are)

this encroaching, unceasing clamor to swell your stomach on the strength of another?

would that teach you self-reliance, baby?

Would that teach you upward mobility?

Would that teach you any of the things that made America great, baby?

Baby, do not look at me like that.

It’s for your sake really

Do you think I like sitting here leaking milk

well I don’t.

Sure, I could clasp you to my bosom and fill you with the nectar of life.

Bathe in the quiet glow of maternal affection.

Trace your little nose with my fingertip.

and that’s all well and good if you like that sort of thing, baby,

but where would that leave us in hour?

Your capacity for industry shattered

your thirst for the quick fix only inflamed

your spirit locked perhaps forever in a cage of abject dependency.

Indulgence is the mother of need, baby

(just like I’m the mother of you, yes I am, who’s got ten tiny toes, yes you do)

Please stop, baby.


Here, I will sing you a song.

This old man/he played four/he played knick knack on my door/until I threw him off my property/as is my natural right



Baby, if I gave in now, the next time it would be even harder to say no.

Soon you’d be eating whenever you were hungry

Of course I love you baby

how could you ask me that

with the quiver of your lips.

I will teach how to fish

then you need never go hungry.

Come, let’s go teach you to fish

Oh for heaven’s sake

I am not going to carry you to the river

I guess we will have to stay here.

Oh really baby, you think you are so cunning

but I see through you

you pint sized entitlement junkie.

Yes nestle your head into my arm

I am definitely fooled by that .


Ronald Reagan once literally compared goverment programs to babies, were you aware of that

You’re not going to tax and spend me.



just this once.


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