Dear Future Husband,

Even though we haven’t met yet, I feel as though I already know you. I picture you all the time in my mind’s eye–your laugh, your smile, your Art of Manliness prescribed vintage shaving accoutrements. I often wonder how we’ll come across each other: by the ocean, your eye caught in a purely spiritual and aesthetic appreciation of my retro one-piece bathing suit? Or sipping a latte in the local cafe, will I look up from my Alice von Hildebrand hardcover to catch the spark in your eye? Either way, I want you to know that I trust you to pursue and cherish me, to spiritually direct and lead our relationship. And when you get down on one knee and ask for the heart I’ve been guarding, the kisses I’ve been saving up only for you –I’ll be ready.

Love,

Your Future Wife

 

**

Dear Future Husband,

It’s totally ok that you haven’t  written back yet, because (future) marriage is a commitment
that requires patience and sacrifice. Love isn’t a feeling, it’s a verb. I’m committed to you, and serious about our future life together.

[Speaking of which, I’m sure you’re already onboard with washing my feet instead of throwing the garter. But I was thinking about carrying a crucifix instead of a bouquet. You know, one of the real bloody Spanish ones. I feel like it would be a powerful witness to the true nature of marriage.]

So anyway, yeah, it’s completely fine that you haven’t written back yet. True love waits!

Love,

Your Future Wife

PS-speaking of commitment, I want to start preparing for our relationship. What are your favorite foods? Where do you see yourself living? Do you consider your job a career? Knowing these things will help me make decisions centered around us.

 

**

Dear Future Husband,

I pray for you every day, and continue to guard my heart against all possible distractions as we discern our relationship.

Perhaps you didn’t understand when I said that I was consciously committing to and prioritizing our life as a couple. This means that I will be making decisions about my own life–job offers, educational opportunities, etc– ased on what I know about you. Which, as of now, is nothing! So you can see how that would be difficult!

I feel really blessed by this opportunity to work on our communication skills. Someday our marriage will be all the stronger.

Love,

Your Future Wife

 

**

Dear Future Husband,

Since you have yet to write back, I’ve decided to participate in an international tango instructor exchange in Argentina for a year. I’ll get back to you with my new address.

Your Future Wife

 

**

Dear Future Husband

Argentina is great. Considering settling on the pampas permanently.

Your Future Wife

 

**

Dear Future Husband,

I wasn’t sure how best to tell you this, but I’ve met someone else.

He lives in Buenos Aires and is an excellent kisser, which, to be frank, was never exactly your forte.

I hope you believe that I never meant to hurt you, and that someday we can be friends. I wish you every happiness moving forward. Please return my letters at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,

Your Ex Future Wife

Advertisements