Can We Please Stop Deceiving Women?

“If you come to the conclusion that you don’t want to be used, then there’s something you can do to help. We cannot control men, but we can control our actions.”

Of course, there’s a study to back it up. A study that’s been cited, over and over among the modesti, about how men cannot help seeing women in certain garb as objects.

The only problem is that nothing in the cited study backs up this claim. A survey (of a tiny sample size) found that men who harbor hostile sexist beliefs tend to see women in bikinis as objects.

Yes, hostile sexists do tend to relate to women’s bodies as objects! And when you pretend that the problem is women’s swim gear rather than the hostile sexists, you play into their beliefs–that a woman’s body is fundamentally an object, and only an appropriate amount of coverage can maintain the polite fiction of female subjectivity.

Charming posted about this, and was predictably told to calm down. But I don’t think she should calm down, because it is a big deal. It’s a big deal when religious people employ the Cosmo trick of creating insecurities in women in order to push an agenda, whether mercantile or ideological; it’s a big deal when women are told to shape their behavior and clothing choices around the reactions of hostile sexists.

I don’t care whether the problem is lazy reading or deliberate disingenuity. Either way, it needs to stop. Stop pretending that a woman’s dignity is on the line when her skirt is a bit too short for your tastes. Stop misrepresenting research in order to bulk up your bikini crusade. Stop presenting hostile sexism as a normal response to the female body. Stop enabling misogyny.

ETA: This is great. 


9 thoughts on “Can We Please Stop Deceiving Women?

  1. Pingback: Let’s Also Stop Objectifying Women | Babes in Babylon

    • Yes, it is a specific, sociological term. No, that does not mean it cannot be used as a descriptor of persons who hold the specific beliefs that comprise hostile sexism.

      I’m getting tired of facile, so you need to show me something better soon.

    • On second thought, nothing about your previous arguments have made me think the forthcoming will be more engaging. You are not invited to comment on this blog; you bore me.

  2. What I see over and over is that people who are willing to talk about these issues will only do so if they don’t want to implicate anyone they like. No one wants to call out the sexists in their own social circle; it’s fine to complain abstracts but try to calling out a fellow Catholic or a pretty young designer (and a celebrity, no less) on it and the ranks close. Suddenly, no one wants to talk about it, and the easiest response is shifting the blame onto the person doing the calling out–irrational, overreacting, whatever. We agree with what you said but the way you said it is the problem, etc.

    I know you’re writing about modesty here, but people don’t get that this is what rape culture is. It’s when they defend a man in their social circle because they like him and don’t want to be THAT person or to damage relationships. So the religious people go on using their Cosmo tricks with abandon and unless it’s done by someone unpopular like Michael Voris, no one wants to speak up.

    I see sexism on a certain column on Patheos all the time. I wrote a post in reponse to one of his once and after that no one from Patheos who had been previously commenting on my blog would do so again. Some comments in agreement with my post even got deleted. That’s just one example and one website, but I’ve seen it a depressing amount since I started blogging a year+ ago. I expected a little more intellectual honesty among people writing about the Faith.

    • I’ve seen plenty of sexist comments from you – however, it’s the “right kind” of sexism, thus, you don’t notice. You also seem to ignore the people (Catholics, no less) who rabidly support raunch culture. Why is that? Honestly, you should just admit that you want to live the Cosmo lifestyle, and that the Church cramps your style. Trying to make Church doctrine support your views is just going to prove impossible. You’ve been quite well-indoctrinated with feminist thought – it comes through quite clearly. You’ve done an especially good job with memorizing the vocabulary. How commendable.

      “I expected a little more intellectual honesty among people writing about the Faith.”

      Which explains why so few people comment here.

    • “Honestly, you should just admit that you want to live the Cosmo lifestyle”

      “Which explains why so few people comment here.”


      Lady, these are playground taunts.

      If you want to join our TERRIFYINGLY AND SOUL CRUSHINGLY, HUMILIATINGLY SMALL LIST OF COMMENTERS, you need to bring better next time.

      And I know for a fact I’ve said plenty of sexist things. We live in a sexist culture, and I know of no one who is totally free from it. Luckily, I have cool friends who call me out on it all the time, so we can only keep trying.

      Now, back to the batcave to memorize feminist vocabulary!!!

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